Johnny Depp
Sleepy Hollow: High Homage
An underappreciated throwback movie. Horrific, cheesy, and sometimes completely beautiful.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
A film with tasty new charm, that you can only find if you don’t expect it to be the same charm you already ate.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
No one said Pirates movies were cinematically healthy, but up till now there have been defenders of each film at least regarding tastiness. Dead Men Tell No Tales is like Davy Jones in previous films: chained to the job he was hired to do despite having no heart.
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
From Willem Dafoe approximating a German to Penelope Cruz approximating a maid to Judy Dench stretching no imaginations as a frowsy curd whose gaze would cure mustard, the train certainly carries cargo with the promise of becoming precious. But the cogs it winds up never outgrow their clock: the plot remands wit to the backstage of Branagh’s eyes and the film lulls almost indefinitely as soon as the mystery begins.